ENDO PARTNER: BEN

Sunday 19 March 2017

Did Emma make it clear from the start that she had health complexities? Do you think she needed to?

 

When I first starting seeing Emma, I read through her blog and discovered the health issues she deals with before she even had a chance to tell me. I wouldn't say she needed to, but honesty is the key to any good relationship regardless of what it is. I appreciated her for telling me and for having the courage to open up about something so personal - I have always respected that about her.

 

What did you think when you found out Emma had endo and might not be able to have children?

 

Where there's a will there's a way. We have options that we can explore. I had no change in opinion of her or our relationship. Putting it bluntly, it didn't bother me one bit. Not that I don't want children, I’d love nothing more than to be dad. I am forever grateful for the way Emma has influenced my life so positively, her possible inability to have children changes nothing for me and my love for our lives together.

 

Does having a partner with endo/PCOS impact your life? If so how?

 

Not really. There seems to be a stigma around it and I'm not sure why. We all have things we'd love to change about ourselves, we all have imperfections and we all have things in our lives we suffer with - health, relationships, family, injury, learning difficulties and so much more. I fell in love with Emma - her caring nature, her intelligence and her unconditional love for me. I have never seen her as a girl with health conditions, she's Emma and she's awesome. When her health flares up we deal with it, it doesn't dictate our lives and it certainly doesn't hold her back from being fucken amazing at everything she does!!

 

As a partner of a sufferer are there things you get frustrated by? If so, what?

 

Nothing in particular. I'm realistic in the fact that there isn't much I can do except support and comfort her throughout life. If anything, sometimes it can be frustrating not knowing how to help, but we are honest with each other and we communicate well. I know what makes her happy and I know how to distract her. At the end of the day I know she appreciates nothing more than knowing I support her every move in life, and knowing that I will always be there to comfort her in times of need.

 

Do you think it takes a toll on your relationship? If so how?

 

No toll what so ever. I love her more than ever and continue to fall in love with her more and more every day.

 

What about your sex life?

 

No complaints here :P

 

What do you think about people out there who can't handle being in a relationship with someone who has such conditions?

 

I don't believe it has anything to do with not being able to handle things. It comes down to whether or not people are right for each other. If you don't care for someone enough to 'handle' their flaws then move on, that person isn't for you. As I said, I have never seen Emma's health as a problem to me. Yes it sucks for her and is difficult to see someone I love so deeply going through what she does, but there's nothing to handle. Being there for someone isn't difficult when you care - I have no idea what I'm doing but she responds well to me being there for her, and that for me is easy.

 

Why do you think we need to talk about endo this awareness month?

 

It's a common issue and there is a stigma around it that needs to be addressed. Women shouldn't be ashamed of this!! Speak up and support each other, you're not alone. This issue is far more common than what people believe, you speaking up could positively influence someone else's life and that's pretty awesome!

 

What advice do you have for guys out there who have friends/family members/partners living with endo/PCOS?

 

Don't treat them any differently, they are still humans. The symptoms are very real and the pain suffered is very real. Often symptoms can't be seen, but that doesn't mean they aren't real. Be there for your loved ones, support them in any way you can. They don't expect a miracle from you, they just want your support.

 

Any last words?

 

I love my wife unconditionally and that will never change. If you are someone suffering from these issues, seek help, talk, and don't be ashamed. You're fucken awesome and your health doesn't determine that. Don't let society tell you otherwise. Life's a bitch at the best of times, embrace the challenges and learn to love the positive things in your life. Keep it real.