Sunday 11 December 2016
To embrace something is to welcome it with open arms, hold, hug, accept completely.
Until very recently, I had forgotten what Embracing It means and lost touch of why I started this in the first place. It was stumbling upon my friends new blog - no need for scales, about her lifestyle adjustments to manage living with diabetes that gave me the reminder and push I needed.
Embracing It was initially a coping mechanism. I baked to release stress and frustration, and wrote to get things out of my head - I guess you could call it a brain dump. Until recently things with my health had been on track, manageable, I was having pain free days, maintaining a low body fat percentage, exercising without too much discomfort and generally feeling positive. My time and energy was going into growing the business side of Embracing It, testing out the local markets and taking orders to deliver healthy goodies to members at various CrossFit gyms.
That was until March this year - when I found myself in an ambulance again, spending nights in hospital, being pumped with morphine, undergoing test after test. Was this really all happening to me again and why? I thought I’d seen the light at the end of the tunnel…but little was I to know, this was the start of another downward spiral, another shit deck of cards I’d been dealt – ultimately another challenge to overcome and 'embrace.' The specialist appointments started becoming more regular in my diary and pain free days were extremely rare. I stopped going to the gym, as every time I exercised I felt like fainting, I couldn’t digest food of any substance without pain, and was rapidly gaining weight. That, with a whole lot of tears, in random outbursts.
I'll be honest, I haven't created a new recipe in a few months - I haven't felt inspired to do so. Embracing It has been sitting here trucking along, but I haven't given it the time of day I used to (and that scares me), as it's a huge part of who I am.
But these recent developments and further complications have taken a toll on me, particularly my mental well-being. I have been in denial, trying to hide from it all, but I've started to accept that I've hit a bumpy patch...I'm at the stage where I REALLY do need to "embrace it." So this is me reminding myself that I can get through anything. I will again use Embracing It to share my journey (the highs and the lows) with whoever is listening, whoever is interested, whoever can relate to what's going on and whoever needs a little bit of inspiration. But this time round I a have a few more than my 6 original followers! If you are unfamiliar with my health history please read "my story."
I'll finish this post with the foundations Embracing It was built on - sometimes the things you can't change, end up changing you. Today I'm telling myself that this is all happening for a reason - it will make me a stronger person, with more resistance and experience to help guide others through similar situations. Or maybe the frustrations will lead to another recipe just as good as my peanut butter cheesecake - you can only hope :p